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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Happiness in Marriage

In order to be happy in a relationship, we have to experience happiness as an individual first then family ,community and so on.Many Muslim husbands and wives treat each other like adversaries rather than partners.Many of them treat their spouses in ways that they would never treat others. With others, they try to be polite, kind, and patient. With their spouses, they often do not show these courtesies.The husband feels that he is the boss, and whatever he says goes.

Some husbands and wives, believe it or not, complain to others about their mate's physical appearance. This is a recipe for disaster. Information about your intimate relations should be kept between you and your spouse.Sometimes after a bad day at the office, husbands usually come home angry and on edge. The wife has probably also had a hard day with the children and the housework. If they are short-tempered with each other , they will automatically thinking that their spouse no longer loves them.

Do not be a dictators
The husband as the head of the household are not supposed to be dictators. We are taught to treat our wives well. Rasul Allah - Salallahu Alaihi Wassalam was reported have said:
'The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behavior; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives'.


Be Partners in the Decision Making Process.
There will be much more harmony in the family when decisions are not imposed and everyone feels that they had some part in making them.

Never be Emotionally
Be very careful what you say when you are upset. Sometimes you will say things that you would never say when you were not angry. If you are angry, wait until you calm down before continuing the conversation.Never be emotionally, mentally, or physically abusive to your spouse. Rasul Allah -Salallahu Alaihi Wassalam never mistreated his wives. He is reported to have said:
'How could they beat their women in daytime as slaves and then sleep with them in the night'


Work Together in the House
It would be great if the husband and wife could work together.Rasul Allah - Salallahu Alaihi Wassalam is known to have helped his wives in the house. And if He was not above doing housework, modern Muslim husbands shouldn't feel that they are.

Communication is Important
Communication:This is the big word in counseling. And it should be. Husbands and wives need to talk to each other. It is better to deal with problems early and honestly than to let them pile up until an explosion occurs.

Forget the past
Accept the fact that you cannot change the past. The past is only relevant for the lessons you can learn. Do not suffer over and over needlessly for mistakes you made or actions or opportunities you would have, should have, or could have taken. Learn from your mistakes and then, basically, forget about them. Only the lessons remain relevant.

Live Simply
Some wives never show their husband that they are satisfied with anything he does or buys for them in order to trick him into doing and buying more. They make him feel like a failure if he does not give them the lifestyle that their friends and families enjoy. Don't be jealous of those who seem to be living a more luxurious life than your family. Look at other people who have less than you, not those who have more.

Admit Your Mistakes
If your mate doesn't want to be with you all the time, it doesn't mean he or she doesn't love you. People need to be alone for various reasons. Sometimes they want to read, to think about their problems, or just to relax. Don't make them feel that they are committing a sin.When you make a mistake, admit it. When your mate makes a mistake, excuse him or her easily. If possible, never go to sleep angry with each other.

Have Meals Together
Try to eat together as a family when possible. Show the cook and the dishwasher, whether it is the husband or the wife, appreciation for his or her efforts. Rasul Allah - Salallahu Alaihi Wassalam did not complain about food that was put before him

The principles such as humility, sacrifice, empathy, love, understanding, forgiveness, and hard work are good for our marriage These principles could help our marriage to improve. The essence of them all can be summed up in one sentence: Always treat your spouse the way you would like to be treated. If you follow this rule, your marriage will have a much greater chance for success. If you discard this rule, failure is just around the corner.

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